Now then

I've been wearing dark, solemn clothes for the past few months. Originally, because bright colors make me nervous. Eventually, because that's all I could see myself in. Today, I decided to don a striped light blue shirt. I feel better. Some of the confidence is creeping back.

Maybe, I've got a friend. That's all I want. Not somebody who's afraid to talk to me because they think they'd be a burden to me. Just somebody who'd talk to me as readily as I to them. He's a nice kid from Sri Lanka. He doesn't speak English fluently, but.. I haven't been pushed away for my usual "boringness." Yet. We'll see.

I think that's all I use the internet for now (besides this). Letters from foreign countries, telling me about their life and their culture. Who cares, now, for those social networking sites. Friends lists.. congested with people I've exchanged little more than a "hello" with. I don't think I'll be signing on as much anymore. I don't really need it.

I don't like walking into spiderwebs. Multicolored spiders.. or clear, yellowish spiders really really scare me. Really scare me. And I'm not joking. Correction. All spiders scare me. I can't get over it. A spider was crawling over the chair. Now, I can't even step near that chair without shivering. I just go berserk without myself knowing it and it's uncontrollable. I just prefer to stay clear of these.. creatures. I was looking for my dog outside and I was inches away from this web.. infested with a ton of little spiders. There were so many of them. So many. I think I could have fainted. It was terrifying. Oh well.

Today's the same. Never complete. I'm still struggling with the thought.

Maybe this is how it's supposed to be

This is how it's supposed to be

Looking forward as we rewind

Looking back is a trap sometimes

Being here is so easy to do

If you want to

-Supposed to be, Jack Johnson