Confused

I can't see why people can't calm the bloody hell down. I think it hurts more seeing people argue and not being able to do anything about it than being in the argument. What's with living day by day? What's with talking but also listening?

You see, all this is nonexistant. People talk, but they don't listen. I feel like the whole of me and what used to be is all disintegrating. Right now. And nothing can turn things right. I know, it could be worse. But it's all just so hectic and no one cares about anyone but themselves anymore.

I need time to sort things out. My life is a hell of a mess and I can't understand anything. Mired in a cacophonous clash of things I'd rather not deal with. But not run away from either. That'd be pathetic and cowardly, I don't disagree. Well. It's just problematic situations strewn all over. Sort of like I've been scrawling out the details in this illegible chicken-scratch handwriting. Now, I go back to read it and I can't decipher a word.

Just a bit torn. I feel nothing but tired. It's getting more and more difficult to get up in the morning. What's with all this Life's a Blessing? Maybe, but I can't recognize the blessing.

Freaking fail at life. I think the only thing I'm looking forward to this week is researching. Oh well.