Tired

I'm really tired of everything. I feel guilty letting myself relax because I don't deserve it. But I'm tired. Or am I? Yet, then again I've literally lost all self-discipline nowadays. I'm careless and I let myself off too easily.

And I need people to stop being nice to me out of pity. Or rather, doing anything out of pity. Call me proud, but it's not nice. It's annoying as hell.

I feel very distanced from people. It's a lack of connection. I don't know. I guess we could care less about each other. It wouldn't matter now.

I guess I've messed up my life in some ways or another. Don't know what to do. People are afraid of me..

I don't feel like swimming anymore. You know how it gets tiring to stand in the same place and not move anywhere. I'm not sure where to go anyway.

Feel the need to go running again.

A lot of lies lingering out in the open. Who's safe?

Need to start writing and researching.

An insightful conversation late at night. But there's no one to talk to.

Down and under.

People are avoiding me.. because I'm not very patient at this time. Not with people.

Need someone to care about. Volunteer? Deciding.

Searching for a purpose, a reason to live?

Some people need nothing to be happy. Some people need the world. What's the secret to happiness? Just be ourselves? What if I don't know who I am in the first place? What good is that?

Life's a torn up creature. Where'd the right limb go again? 'Cause it's all that's left. (hah! pun intended, but anyway..)